


An Idle Threat

by faequeentitania



Category: Heroes - Fandom
Genre: Gen, Humor, Season/Series 04
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-24
Updated: 2011-05-24
Packaged: 2017-11-11 01:17:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/472855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faequeentitania/pseuds/faequeentitania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when the psychopath in your head doesn’t want to shut up?</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Idle Threat

**Author's Note:**

> Just a bit of silliness that I rediscovered in the back of a notebook the other day. I have a feeling that it sprung from one of the many silly conversation that took place among us cool kids up in the 10th Wonder Heroes Podcast chat.

“So Parkman,” Sylar drawled from where he was lounging on the sofa, “when are you going to hand in your leave of absence notice to the department?I’d like to get on the road to find my body.”  
  
“Never,” Matt grit out from behind clenched teeth, “we’re not going anywhere.”  
  
He clenched and unclenched his fists as Sylar chuckled condescendingly from the sofa.  
  
“Oh Matt,” he rumbled quietly, “you really think that good ‘ole police resolve is going to last?Think about today.You really want that to happen again? There are only so many cover-ups you can handle.”  
  
“Shut.Up.”  
  
“Come on Parkman,” Sylar growled, relaxed leisure evaporating in an instant as he uncoiled from the couch, stalking forward to glare down at him, “Man up and admit you were wrong.Admit you screwed up when you did this to me, and man up by fixing it!”  
  
“You know what?” Matt challenged, standing a little straighter against Sylar’s looming form in his face, “I’ve got a better idea.How about you lay off my case and just accept the fact that I’m never going to willingly help you, or I swear I will put you in Mr. Muggles’ body and leave you to Sandra Bennett’s whim.”  
  
Sylar chortled, crossing his arms over his chest and his anger broke into amusement.  
  
“Oh Parkman…” he purred, “I’d love to see you try.”  
  
For once, it was Matt’s turn to grin sinisterly, “Actually, that’s not a bad idea.”  
  
The confidence in Sylar’s features flickered for a moment, and Matt grinned wider and pressed on, “Imagine, all-powerful Sylar, the Pomeranian!”  
  
He laughed as he turned away from the irate psychopath and sat down at the computer.  
  
“What are you doing Parkman?” Sylar demanded, looming over his shoulder.  
  
“I think I’ll email Sandra Bennett,” Matt chirped, “see if I can drop by sometime.Or Claire… Hm, that way I can give the pretense that I’m checking up on her.Seeing how she’s doing after her parents split.Offer to take her home for a visit.”  
  
It was clear by Sylar’s uncharacteristic silence that he wasn’t sure if Matt was serious or not.  
  
Matt went so far as to open up a blank email and plug in Claire’s email address before Sylar grabbed the back of his chair and spun him around angrily.  
  
“ _Stop!_ ” he growled.  
  
Matt just grinned.The cards where in his favor for once, and he was not going to waste the opportunity.  
  
“Oh come on Sylar!” he soothed, “I bet life as Mr. Muggles would be pretty good, actually!Table scraps, a big backyard to run around in, and hey! Mr. Muggles is a breeding show dog, isn’t he?At least you’d be getting some tail on a regular basis- literally!” he started laughing at his own joke leaning back in his chair.  
  
“Not funny.”  
  
Matt just continued chuckling as he stood up and clapped Sylar on the shoulder, “It will be when poofy little Muggles-Sylar is made to dance on his hind legs for a treat!”  
  
“Parkman, you make me a dog and I will make it my personal goal in life to chew your leg off as painfully as possible.”  
  
“I think I can handle a little lap dog,” Matt scoffed, and quite boldly patted Sylar on the head.  
  
Sylar slapped his hand away with an angry growl as Matt turned away to go into the kitchen.  
  
That threat would keep him quiet for a little while at least.


End file.
